Santa's sleigh shot down in DC no-fly zone

NORAD initially claimed that the fighter jets were there to protect Santa.

Things were going according to plan until the fat man broke the no fly zone around Washington, DC. Santa reportedly refused to divert despite repeated warnings in several languages, and offered little more than a sadistic "Ho Ho Ho" in response to all official transmissions. NORAD was left with no choice but to take out Santa with extreme prejudice. Rudolph took a sidewinder in the face and became the first true "rain" deer. Dasher and Dancer were instantly killed by shrapnel and hot chunks of Rudolph. Prancer and Vixen were blinded by the death shits of Dasher and Dancer, forcing the sleigh into a morbid tailspin, and died immediately on impact as, the remnants of the sleigh careened into the frigid Potomac. Comet and Cupid, unable to chew off their reigns in time, died a slow, panicked death, drowning in a sea of less than buoyant presents. Donner and Blitzen, after losing their teeth gnawing through their leather straps, swam pathetically to the shore, only to be immediately tasered, beaten, tranquilized, tasered again, and whisked away to Gitmo for enhanced interrogation.

Santa is still at large. Divers have so far been unable to locate his body. It is believed that his morbidly obese belly absorbed the initial impact, and provided an added benefit of extreme buoyancy that enabled an easy escape from the crash site. The area has been cordoned off and NORAD has issued a statement that any further hostilities from the North Pole will be met with appropriate force. B-1 bombers have been deployed to circle the North Pole at a standoff distance around the clock to guard against the "Red Menace." US forces have been placed on DEFCON 2 and the nuclear option is still on the table.

There are now disturbing reports surfacing that Santa has repeatedly spent time in the Middle East, where authorities believe he may have become radicalized after eating falafel left in the place of cookies and milk.

Anyone who sees a man fitting Santa's description should immediately notify law enforcement.

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Inspired by:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2013/12/24/NORAD-raises-eyebrows-by-giving-Santa-fighter-jet-escort/UPI-14091387909160/?spt=rln&or=1

Faulty assumptions

Thanks to Dave for the link below. 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/matt-miller-artificial-intelligence-our-final-invention/2013/12/18/26ed6be8-67e6-11e3-8b5b-a77187b716a3_story.html?hpid=z2

The question that kept popping up in my head while reading it was:  Why does everyone assume the end of humanity to be a bad thing? 

Shit, we should be so lucky!  Maybe I've been watching too much Office Space.  Or maybe not enough.

Oh to be Swiss!

Direct democracy at its best.

Best quotes in the article:

 "anyway, a society in which people work only because they have to have money is no better than slavery"

"The idea goes to the personal question - what are you doing in your life, is it actually what you want do?"

Too bad their immigration policy is so strict.

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Swiss to vote on cash for all - working or not

Switzerland is to vote on a guaranteed basic income for all legal residents - whether they are working or not.

Read more:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-25415501

Katy picked a good show on amazon prime!

The lottery of birth. Highly recommended. Completely eviscerates the educational system.

Not too shabby

View from the fitness center. Wonder if there be sharks out there.

For some reason

This reminds me of Doom II

Valley girl accent spreads like verbal melanoma

The story below claims that people incorrectly judge a valley girl accent as being a sign of insecurity, shallowness, and stupidity.

My first question: isn't it?

Second question: how did the people performing this study stand listening to all the asinine people using this accent without going berserk? Unless, of course, the very investigator speaks valley girl. And in that case, the entire study should be summarily dismissed as prejudicial nonsense.

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More men chat in girls' 'dialect'

More men in California rise in pitch at the end of their sentences when talking, new research shows.

Read more:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-25232387

Truechey, pandora

Listening to pandora while reading qualification material. The walking dead by fiction comes on, and I can't think of any other song that better sums up how I feel at work:

"We are . . . The walking dead we are . . . . The walking dead we are . . . the walking dead we are . . . The walking dead."